My Chalti-Firti Diary

"Happy 18th Birthday maari Princess ! le aa taari gift ... (Diary with a lock) tane je feel thai... taara dimaag je bhi hoi ..aama lakhvani try kar..." She gifted me a diary with a lock on my 18th birthday to flush out my thoughts and emotions which i feel i can't share with anyone... and while receiving it.. I told her " Naaah... I don't need this ... because tu maari "Chaalti Farti" Diary che ! ( You are My Walking - Talking Diary) I shared everything with my mom... I don't remember hiding anything from her... I never felt like writing my thoughts...feelings or emotions in a diary ... because there was nothing inside me left unsaid... I was always asked to speak out whatever you feel like... even if its a silliest thing ...you still need to flush out that out of your system... so while Mental health and releasing your emotions always being a priority at my place.. I used to think its okay and normal to speak out in public ... because its your thoughts ..its your emotions... but I realized that its not the case for everyone... and few weeks  back I realised I can't  even write a word on sheet of paper where I had to write about what I feel like at that moment.... I kept asking myself ... why can't I write anything on paper and I can write easily on social media without a second thought. ... and thn I realised the thought and emotions are just going to be with me in that sheet of paper..... and I can't even discuss it with anyone... So now I strongly feel maintaining a personal diary is not my Cup of Coffee .... and trust me .... right now I have  an urge of discussing this things with my Mom... and I know my mom's reply would have been... " boli nakhvanu.. je mann ma aave ee... darvanu nai..!" Just Flush out... don't keep it inside you... and don't be afraid of being judged... so now I feel  I have turned my social media handles in to a "Diary"... because My "Chalti- Firti" Diary is lost ..!

Letter

"Treasure Found Moment"

Hand written Letter from Mommy.. she wrote it when I turned 20... ❤️ Maa, 

Thank you for this letter ... ❤️

Thank you for bringing me in this world, you gave me the gift of experience.... Thank you for the cuddles when I was sick or scared.....Thank you for leading by example and walking the talk. 

Life is not the same without you, but if I could choose all over again, it would be only you, once again. Miss you ❤️

Like Mom.. Like Daughter!

"Taare toh Raja Harishchandra na tya born thavu jotu tu... su bolvani ane react karvani zarurat hati... !?🤷 " ( You should have been born at Raja harishchandra  's... why do you have to react and speak up the truth.. whenever something goes wrong )

This was her reaction when I Speak up for something which is wrong in general or in any situation... and my reply to her reaction was always

" Jevi mummy evi chokri....💁🏻‍♀️"  (like mom..like daughter )

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I guess every mom.. If someone pointed out at their kids...thn that person is gone...bhagwan hi bacchaye unko... but if we as a kids speak up for them...toh beta you are not allowed... so I always asked " yeh kaunsa rule hai bhai.. tum karo toh sab thik and hum kare toh ... tumhe bolna nahi chahiye...🤦🏻‍♀️"

I guess Moms first instinct is to save her kids from any trouble... because in today's life they know telling the truth may get you in a big trouble thn telling a lie or being quiet about it...."kyuki sach kadwa hota hai bhai...🤷🏻‍♀️"

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so I had always seen my Mom talking and taking a stand on whats WRONG is WRONG and what's RIGHT is RIGHT... ..so there is no in between...  Staying true to yourself and others... so  I am glad for everytime I spoke up for her even if she didn't wanted me to... because I knew she was just trying to ssshhhh me ...to save me from any trouble...and I know.. though she never expressed it how good she felt about it ...because "mein channe k jaad pe chad jaati na 🙈" but kyaa kare .. "Jesi Mummy waisi beti" 💁🏻‍♀️..

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Thank you Mommy for letting me be myself... and always encouraging to be true to myself and others..... encouraging to Accept my mistakes , learn and move on... 

Love you ❤️

Childlike Swag

Me : "Mumma... cheating nai kar ... barabar ram ne yaar...." ( Stop cheating ... play wisely)🥺

Mommy : "Me kyaa cheating kari ... jo barabar ramu chu!" ( I am not cheating see...) while having a notorious smile on her face... 😋

 - I always used to get  this reply when playing cards or carrom .... so sometimes I used to tell her... its seems like "Hu taari mummy chu ..!" 🤦🏻‍♀️

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While being a mature person ..she made sure to keep her inner child alive ❤️... 

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 She was the first person to run to terrace to get drench in the first rain of the season while calling everyone to join her..... playing games indoor / outdoor games with kids.... Always having a childlike smile intact... playing pranks on April fools day..... trying new things ...  because she believed "Age doesn't matter... its just a number.... do whatever makes you and your loved ones happy... " ❤️ 

This is what made her the most amazing coolest person with her childlike Swag 😎

Love you Mommy 😘💕

Happy Birthday Mommy ❤️

"Geetu che ne...toh koi tension nathi... e badhu manage kari dese... "

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You always went out of your way to make everyone around you happy .. being a support system for them... keeping your own problems on a hold and running for people... for whom you felt they need you...not waiting for them to ask you to be there... Right now I'm feeling proud about the fact that despite all the difficulties in your life, you were there putting smiles on a lot of faces throughout your life.... Love you 😘♥️

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So Today..on this special day  11/11 

We prepared your favorite food ( Batata Vada)  to celebrate your birthday. I know all you want us to do is to remember all the happy times we had with you. That’s exactly what we are doing.

As you feast with the angels in Heaven, I wish you an everlasting smile.

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Happy Birthday Mommy ❤️😘

Miss you 💔

" A friend to all is a friend to all !"

"Yaar teri MOM toh bohot cool hai re..." or  "Friend (mom) ghar pe hai kya ? hum unko milne aa rahe hai..." 

Yeah so cool... that there was no hesitation in  sharing what goes inside your mind or how you feel from inside or hidding things from her... without being judged and critised.... and I guess there was no thing such as " Mummy ko pata chal gaya toh? or Mummy ko nahi pata chalna chahiye..."  for me.

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A Go to Person.. not only for me ... but for everyone.. be it ...my cousins ... her  friends.. my friends...relatives...her students.... neighbors ..or you can say all who came in contact with her ..even for 5-10 mins...Where  you could easily share or discuss about anything and everything with her from some bakwas funny talks to sharing secrets ... ( Everyone secrets are safe in heaven now)  but who wouldn't want to go to a person who makes you feel good about yourself and make you understand your mistakes if you have done any in a subtle way... makes you feel comfortable about who you are .. without being judged.... sounds like a life coach... a counselor or a secret keeper...eh ?  

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Who says " A friend to all is friend to none".. She's an example of " A friend to all is a friend to all !" Making Human connections was her major priority in life ...

and I am sure most my cousins , my friends ..her friends...or anyone who knew her will agree to it...🙂

"Haqq se Spoiled brat"

"Geetu te taari chokri ne bav maathe chadhayvi che !" (You have spoiled your child way too much....!) How can you let a 5 year kid to decide her own clothes , shoes , bags ...? how can you gift her things every now and then?...How can you let her take decisions on what she wants to do in her career or life? how can you give her so much freedom ... ? 

My Mom used to get bombarded with these statement and questions every now and thn... .

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 Yes that's right ... She used to shower me with gifts in every occasion, special days or festival even though we never celebrated some festivals but gift toh banta hai ...she gifted me the things ..were the things ..which i actually needed or wanted in my day to day life...the actual reason.. labeling the things as a "GIFT" made it special for me and so I wanted it to last or use it carefully and wisely... so basically no tod-fod or loosing things ...

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 And  Yes when I was turning 5 .... Finally she  agreed to let me select my birthday dress and sandals ...and also  assured me that she will purchase whatever I like... so as a kid I obviously opted for the jazzier dress with beads and tiklis and not to forget the high heel sandals also... so at the billing counter before paying.. she asked me one question... will you be able to carry yourself  in ths dress and sandals easily ...? and with great excitement i replied " Yes ... its my birthday no...!" though it was the most uncomfortable birthday till now.. with ouch and eee because of the tiklis and beads on my dress and twisted leg due to high heels... so my first ever lesson was learnt .. next time I opted for a comfortable dress with no ouch and eee... and flat sandals.... though it seems to be nothing as obviously as human beings we all make mistakes and make wrong choices ..but  somewhere this experience has impacted me in a long run.... even while taking small decisions to taking major life decisions..

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Her reply to people questioning her parenting style was always "let her fall ..let her rise by herself... Let her learn from her own experiences and own up to her mistakes..."

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- "Haqq se Spoiled brat"